Wednesday: Seeing is believing

Today was a big day for both of us. We visited Chapman University, and my son exhibited a maturity beyond his years as we interviewed with admissions, met students and toured the campus. Me? I held back tears for the first of likely many times over the fact that my son is grown up. Not growing up anymore, but grown up.

Ok, so he’s only 16. But the choice of a college is entirely his – as it should be. He’s the one who has to choose, attend and pass his classes. He’s the one who has to get along with his college roommates, or not. He’s the one who has to graduate. He’s the one who has to find a job when he’s done. He’s the one who has to pay back his student loans.

He’s the one who gets to decide – and most likely he’ll make a far different decision than the one I would have made.

My heart burst today when I watched him ask thoughtful, intelligent questions of the admissions counselor and tour guides, when I saw how easily he fit into the college environment, how excited he was when he saw the TV studios.

At the same time I felt sad; I’m not sure what role I play in his life now, if any. When he was small I could anticipate his every need. But now, I’m not always even sure I know him.

I do know it is very important for me to take this trip with him. Perhaps, so I can see his maturity, perhaps to help him navigate Los Angeles, or perhaps he’s actually listening to me even though he pretends not to.

Chapman is beautiful, set amid Old Town Orange with its charming antique stores, Victorian houses and quiet streets – a small town college in the heart of one of the largest metropolises in the world.

After our campus tour and admissions information session, we walked with some other parents and prospective students to the film school. A young man with purple hair chatted with another student dressed entirely in black at the entrance. One of the girls in our group giggled and said, “You can tell we’re in the right place!”

The enthusiastic, down-to-earth students shared a warm collegiality as they bustled about in the cramped film school (a new 18,000 sq. ft. building opens next year), shouting notes about collaborative projects to each other, rushing through narrow hallways. The very air held the crispness of a place where people are getting great things done.

And maybe seeing this is why I’m here.


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