I was 17 when I graduated from high school and moved out of my parent’s house. The Teenager knows this. Therefore, he believes that since he is now 17, he’s eligible for all the rights, responsibilities and privileges his mother enjoyed.
Lesson 1: Never tell your child anything about your childhood. He will use it against you.
The Teenager and his Teenager Buddies have mounted a well-planned and brilliantly executed public relations and marketing campaign to convince their parents that an unsupervised trip to Los Angeles in a rickety Ford with a bad transmission is a critical step toward their future as movie moguls.
The Teenager, in particular, displayed notable business development skills:
Smart Move #1: The Teenager first determined which of the six parents was the most likely to succumb and create a domino effect of agreement among the other parents.
Smart Move #2: Next, he determined the key points most likely to convince said parent, and developed a sales pitch complete with Excel spreadsheets and Power Point slides.
Smart Move #3: Given that Teenager Buddy J rarely strings two words together to make a thought, much less a sentence, and Teenager Buddy C has hair so wild it sends lurking coyotes yelping for the nearest dark cave, the Teenager nominated himself as the Public Relations Spokesperson.
Lesson 2: Never teach your child business sense. He will use it against you.
The conversation went something like this:
“Mom, I need to talk to you about my career in film. It’s really important for me to spend as much time in L.A. as possible to develop connections. Also, because of the set designs in my next film, I need J and C to learn more about the technical side of lighting, and there is no better show to demonstrate this than “Stomp.”
“We’ve each saved $200, we’ll drive J’s car, which is very fuel-efficient, we’ve stocked it with plenty of water and a first aid kit, and we can purchase temporary driver’s insurance so that we can all drive and no one gets too tired.”
“Isn’t that the car that you guys are always pushing out of parking spaces because it doesn’t have reverse? No.”
“We’re staying with C’s uncle who is a responsible adult.”
“Mom, please...will you listen to me before you say no.”
Smart Move #4: Pull the guilt card at precisely the right moment.
Anyone care to lay odds on Queen Mom and Dad-Who-Would-Be-Outlaw joining The Teenager and Teenager Buddies in a remake of The Nuclear Family Goes Skiing titled The Nuclear Family Goes to Tinseltown?
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