Three minutes left in the game, the playoff series tied at 1-1. The Suns and Clippers trading shots all night, the Clippers ahead…barely. Marion hits a three-point shot tying the game.
I sit cross-legged on the living room floor clothed in my lucky Steve Nash jersey and Suns baseball cap, red-rimmed eyeballs inches from the TV screen, frenzied hair standing on end, arms flailing, throat raw from screaming helpful hints to the hometown boys.
The Teenager arrives home, bleary-eyed from a tough evening attending his girlfriend's dance concert.
“Mom, are you really watching that?”
“Uhhhh, yeah.”
Click.
Cable news and the Duke University case. Mayhem prevails.
“Honey, do you mind if we watch the game?”
Click.
Commercial break on ESPN.
Click.
The History Channel and the warring Mughals. Murder and mayhem.
“Sweetie, can we switch back to the game? That break won’t last long, it’s almost over!”
Click.
The game explodes back onto the screen, just as Marion flies under the basket and scoops a wild left-handed shot bringing the score to 92-86, Suns, with 42.9 seconds left.
“GOOOOOOOO SUUUUUUNNNS!!!”
Click.
The History Channel and Hitler now. Murder, mayhem and drug addiction.
“Dearheart…pleeeease?”
“Mom, this is the HISTORY channel. It’s educational.”
I cannot speak.
Finally, a commercial break.
“Please, please, please, honey?”
Click.
The game is over, the post-game show is over, and ESPN has switched to a time-delayed baseball game from some place back east. Not a word on who won or lost.
And we pause for a moment to ponder...where did we go wrong?
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6 comments:
There's no way I'd surrender the remote while watching playoff basketball. You need to take a stand, Ms E.
and why did you NOT tackle him and regain control of the remote?
Plant and Cheetarah, so you're telling me the consensus-building method of child-rearing doesn't apply during the playoffs? ;-)
The only consensus building we do in my house involves me building the consensus and the kids agreeing.
That History Channel Hitler thing was interesting.
my kids know better than to take the remote away during the most exciting part of the game...
I read somewhere that when they studied people's television watching habits, the remote control was quickly discovered to be an object of male power.
For example, most of the time the man maintained control of the remote, and when he had to leave the room, 95% of the time he would give the remote to another male, rather than to a female member of the family.
It's like a guy's special totem, or something.
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