Sunday, June 25, 2006

The temperature's risin'


It’s 11 a.m. in the desert in an era of global warming.

It’s sunny and hot. VERY hot.

What else did you expect?

Not much happens in Phoenix in the summer. We cover our steering wheels with special reflective fabric in the hope of avoiding the searing pain of burning flesh when we climb into our cars at lunchtime. For a few moments of relief, we head to ice rinks, water parks, and desert lakes - even if we don’t like these places. If we’re endurance athletes, we train at 4 a.m. when, if we’re lucky, the temperature dips to 90 degrees. We try not to think too much, lest our brain energy raise the temperature one iota more.

We giggle with amusement when the national chains introduce fall fashions replete with wool skirts and leather jackets. In August. When the temperatures hit 115.

And the biggest excitement of the season? The introduction of the summer’s latest frappuccino drinks at Starbucks.

Hence, I believe there must be a story behind holding Thrillerfest, the International Thriller Writers conference, here in Phoenix next week, although no one will tell me for certain. Could this be a ploy by some enterprising author to research an adventure story set in the searing heat of a Phoenix summer while simultaneously indulging in pails of gin with her fellow writers at a storied resort whose hallways are filled with ghosts and skeletons?

It’s the only reasonable explanation.

Nonetheless, as hospitality is my nature, I’ve been encouraging all the writers coming to Phoenix next week. After all, it’s a dry heat. Last week’s forecast had the temperature hovering around 105 degrees for this first ever conference of the International Thriller Writers. Just another balmy day in paradise.

And Phoenix is celebrating this august occasion with book signings and news stories and bookstore displays galore. Thrillerfest is the hippest, coolest thing happening in Phoenix all summer long.

Except the good folks on the Weather Channel are, as I write this, discussing at great length the “amazing heat in the West.”

Except they just forecast a temperature of 113 degrees in Phoenix today.

Except my air conditioner is on the blink.

Just another balmy day in paradise.

Really.



Photo art above by the excellent photographer, Steve Strauss.

14 comments:

Mindy Tarquini said...

When the air conditioning goes, you're supposed to hang out poolside at the Biltmore, swill mai tais, and pretend to be a paying guest. Or maybe at one of those swank places out your way - the new Westin or go out to the Boulders.

I'm excited Thrillerfest is here. It'd be nice if it became a permanent venue. At conferences like this, you never go outside anyway...no time. They could be held at an airport Motel 6 for all the atmosphere really matters.

Elizabeth Krecker said...

It's great that Thrillerfest is coming here, and to such a storied resort, to boot.

I'm still convinced there's a something behind it, and our mission, M.G., if you choose to accept it, is to sniff out the story like the journalist and comedy-writing team we are.

Mindy Tarquini said...

Screw the journalism angle. We'll just make something up. You've no idea how close I came to writing a parody song re: all that awards BS. I was going to write it to the tune of Comedy Tonight from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.

Then I sobered up.

angie said...

Hey, thanks for stopping by my little corner of the blogosphere. And hopefully I'll get to meet you at ThrillerFest - I'll be there, too! Already know the Ginsu lady (a.k.a. Mindy) will be there doing her interview thing. So...looking forward to next week!

Jessie said...

#1: You make me glad I live in Minnesota

#2: You make me strangely desire such intensely hot heat.

#3: You make me wish I liked frappuccinos.

#4: You make me wish I was going to the International Thriller Writers Conference--or any conference at all.

#5: I had fun reading this!

And great photo by the way. Sometimes I wish I lived in Arizona. I lived there briefly several years ago--dry heat feels fabulous. All we get for heat is humid mosquito hell...and that's probably what makes me love winter so much.

Shesawriter said...

I have an family in Arizona. I feel for them. I hate the heat. Cannot. Stand. It. Give me fall and winter any day.

Elizabeth Krecker said...

Angie, Mindy will love to hear that her fame preceds her! Thanks for stopping by

Jessie, good to have you back! I've missed you! And thank the talented Steve Strauss for the photo. I'm trying to get him to start a photo blog so more people can enjoy his work.

Shesa, the heat actually is amazing. I wonder why I like the way it feels sometimes. Maybe it's the contrast between heat and jumping into a cool blue swimming pool.

ivan said...

Ah, the Phoenix sun.
Makes me think of the Phoenix SUN.
I wouldn't give up the journalism option. Half a million readers are better than no readers.
That's how I cut my teeth.
Of course, once I moved over to fiction, I kept hearing the word
"sellout" here and there when it came to my journalism background.
...Sell out WHAT?

Nothing like a stint as a summer reporter for a really big daily to find out for yourself whether you have the stuff.
I'm just thinking of a Torstar PhD who got a job as a summer reporter.
F*cked it up. Got fired.
"I need to talk to my faculty advisor..."

Kinda separates the men from the boys, the Alpha girls from the poseurs.
...But then I havent been selling much lately either,though my incongrous monicker has somehow become a household word in Newmarket Ontario it that's any consolation.

Bill Cameron said...

I wanted to come for the Fest, but just couldn't make it work this year. Probably just as well. It hit 104 in Portland on Sunday and I melted slightly.

Ballpoint Wren said...

It's been hot and mugggy in San Diego, too. Elizabeth, are you going to meet fellow bloggers at Thrillerfest?

Elizabeth Krecker said...

Lion, the Manhattan heat may be hot...but then again, you're living in one of the coolest places on earth! I'm so excited you stopped by! One of the famous "Three New York Women," I love your blog and stop by frequently for my NYC fix1

Bill, I wish you could have made it. I've been hanging out with your Killer Year pals, and they are a great group of people!

Which answers your question, Bonnie, yes! I'm meeting all kinds of bloggers here, It's really fun - an instant connection because of all we've shared through blogging. I truly hope to meet you someday, too!

And I'll be back to posting once it's all over...right now I'm propping my eyelids open for another exhausting day of Thrillerfest. We've been hanging out and yacking - as only writers can do - until the wee morning hours, then we're all waking up early for more.

Tonight I go to the first ever ITW Awards. It appears the whole "no women on the nominees list" has blown over, thank heavens, but who knows...maybe I'll have some fireworks to report on. Will keep you all posted!

WannabeMe said...

Dry Heat. See, that's what I don't get. So is dry heat better than regular heat? It's still 115 degrees, right? It's an average of 80 degrees here and I have the AC blasting at 70. I would never survive the desert.

Elizabeth Krecker said...

Dana, thanks for stopping by!

The "It's a dry heat" clause only works if the temperature is below 100. Over that, you're absolutely right...it's just plain hot and there's no relief in sight.

My hot water heater went out a few weeks ago when the temperature hovered around 117. I didn't need to pay a rush charge to have it fixed. Why? Because even the tap water is hot in Phoenix in the summer.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Phoenix. My first job after graduating from Mizzou. (I had a journalism degree but had already "sold out" to the Corporates). Arrived in June in my very first ever new car and the first weekend in town the rubber molding around the bumper curled up like a piece of bacon. One day the PA system in my office announced that a Haboob (dust storm) was coming down Camelback and everyone made a dash outside to roll up car windows. I remember August softball games that started at 10 p.m. to avoid the heat, and construction crews that started work at 4 a.m. so they could be out of the real heat by noon. Then again, I also remember wearing cut-offs and a tee-shirt while grilling in my backyard near the base of Sqauw Peak on New Year's Day, the television dragged out to the patio to watch the football games.